I do get what everyone is saying but my thinking is this. What do you want? Do you really want her back like she is? You know that right now she doesn't love you the way you need and I don't think that is something that will just flip over night. So wouldn't it be safe to say keep doing you and make sure she if/when her feelings start being what you need...take a few and make sure it's not just panicking. Just my opinion.
I know it may sound like I'm against you reconciling and trust me I'm NOT. I want your family to stay whole but i also want it to be genuine and not just a knee jerk reaction to fear of change.
Smooches, Doodi
Doodi, this isn't about reconciliation. We're not even close to reconciling. It's about settling for something far less than what I think is healthy. And settling in a way that is fraught with huge risks.
I want a "normal, healthy marriage," whatever the heck that is. One that is affectionate, loving, with some passion. I don't expect it to be like a movie, but it's a part of me that I've suppressed for years because I thought I was unlovable and unattractive. Now I know that I've crippled myself for years.
Could we make it work? Maybe, but she'd know that I was always longing for her. That would feed her guilt and self-esteem issues, and push her away. That would kill what friendship we're currently enjoying, and we'd end up hating each other. And for me, even having sex crumbs isn't cutting it for me. I know most guys wouldn't say this, but for me, it has to have more in it for me to enjoy sex.
