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Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE LanceSijan #2084954 10/05/10 09:42 PM
Joined: Aug 2010 Posts: 348 L lovehurts Member
lovehurts Member L Joined: Aug 2010 Posts: 348	Tupy is probably the only one I've seen on exposure and I haven't been able to find actual books written by her. There is an article and some You Tube interviews. I've been spending some time while the site's been down looking this up. Now I'm faced with a situation that no one in my life wants me to fight for my marriage. My WH is closer than ever to OW. D is in progress. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. However, I sometimes question the reason. Right now I'm wondering why I was allowed to be exposed to exposure for 2 months before the step in. I couldn't have been the first. I've been doing a lot of soul searching not being able to log on here. I just want to stop working on affair busting and work on me, my son and making sure our future is good. Me:38 H: 45 OW:34 S:4 Bonus S: 12 and 16 2nd M for both Together 12 yrs M: 6 EA suspected: 5/10 confirmed: 7/2/10 Separated: 8/12/10

Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE lovehurts #2085281 10/06/10 01:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 9,678 Somewhere over the rainbow B brandnewday OP Member
OP brandnewday Member B Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 9,678 Somewhere over the rainbow	Lovehurts, It's not too late to try a different tactic. Exposure didn't work for you. Are you ready to try something else? There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.

Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE LanceSijan #2085283 10/06/10 01:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 9,678 Somewhere over the rainbow B brandnewday OP Member
OP brandnewday Member B Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 9,678 Somewhere over the rainbow	Lance, Thanks There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.

Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE brandnewday #2085291 10/06/10 01:59 PM
Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 843 North Vietnam L LanceSijan Member
LanceSijan Member L Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 843 North Vietnam	Originally Posted By: brandnewday Lance, Thanks Given the new guidance by out feerless leader. I think I am going to pursue other books other than those I was reading. FTR, I couldn't find much support in the "Not Just Friends" book either. But I will let that whole subject die. Thanks BND!!!!

Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE lovehurts #2085334 10/06/10 03:24 PM
Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 4,034 F fisherman Member
fisherman Member F Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 4,034	Originally Posted By: lovehurts Now I'm faced with a situation that no one in my life wants me to fight for my marriage. I'm not so sure about that? I bet I can name a few who do. Your friends and family see you hurting, it is natural for them to want that to stop. Quote: I just want to stop working on affair busting and work on me, my son and making sure our future is good. I agree, work on what you have control over. Your situation is far from over. Don't stand still.

Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE lovehurts #2085340 10/06/10 03:47 PM
Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 4,034 F fisherman Member
fisherman Member F Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 4,034	In regards to reading his emails... you are correct. It can easily turn into an unhealthy obsession. I know you've addressed this on another thread. Work hard at stopping, you know what you know, and there isn't really anything more to gain from it. Your imagination and assumptions will almost always make things worse as well. Don't stand still.

Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE fisherman #2085351 10/06/10 04:19 PM
Joined: May 2009 Posts: 275 T TulsaTime Member
TulsaTime Member T Joined: May 2009 Posts: 275	Lance, In my case, the exposure of my affair by my wife was effective to an extent. It blew the lid off the fantasy and secrecy and caused me to pause a bit and reflect on what I was doing.

Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE TulsaTime #2085701 10/06/10 11:49 PM
Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 11,646 J Jack_Three_Beans Moderator
Jack_Three_Beans Moderator J Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 11,646	The culling/reaping across the board of wise and guy posters brought me out...for a bit. Love you too BND. How is Cali? Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE Jack_Three_Beans #2085706 10/06/10 11:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 9,678 Somewhere over the rainbow B brandnewday OP Member
OP brandnewday Member B Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 9,678 Somewhere over the rainbow	Doing awesome Thanks for asking. S16 came 3rd in his last XC State meet. I am so in awe of the man he is becoming This was the kid with all of the anger issues and problems. The rest of the troop is amazing. I am blessed! There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.

Re: MISTAKES MADE BY THE HURT SPOUSE lovehurts #2085837 10/07/10 03:48 AM
Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,132 CT/USA E ericmsant2 Member
ericmsant2 Member E Joined: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,132 CT/USA	Love Quote: I just want to stop working on affair busting and work on me, Then just start to work on YOU. It really is that simple. Oh...and I agree with trapt...it ain't over to the fat lady sings. Eric "The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans

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