Well, my mood carried over when I came home, and W could tell that I was troubled. When we were in bed, she asked me what I wanted her to do.
Just an observation. To me, this just seems like an odd question to ask. To me this sounds like your opinion mattered to her more than her own. And, that she's still really confused which means it could go either way yet.
Originally Posted By: pinhead
She said that there just wasn't that physical attraction, that mutual spark between us, and she thought it had never been there.
So when I read this, I think... don't believe everything she says. I said alot of things about my H to my therapist too - about 'sparks' and 'attraction' 'not being there any more'. I was wrong. They were there. They were just hidden by years of miscommunication and hurts. I just had to start getting my thinking sorted out to start seeing (and feeling) them again.
Be careful about pulling the plug on this too early, hey Pinhead?
She knew that I wanted more physically then she desired, but she was willing to do so to make me happy. And that sure didn't start my engine...
And yes, her self-esteem is pretty low. She thinks that she doesn't deserve to be happy, to have me, yada yada yada. I don't think this is script either. And the guilt we're both feeling about our daughters is overwhelming our common sense.
I don't know if the sparks are hidden or not. A lot of our physical relationship from the very beginning makes sense now. But I don't like to dwell on the past too much. I just know what I feel now, what I value now. In a fantasy life, I could see us separating and her suddenly finding that she was attracted to me, and we rekindle things. But the real world doesn't work like that too often.
