It seems like decades since I've been on the board. Way to much drama on my end. But I still feel like you are my H. If it wasn't for the ML line (and the dancing) I would be so certain that you were him.
That said I wish you all the strength and patience to make this most important decision between the 2 evils. It is the exact flip of mine. I am your wife and I'm trying to decide if I can "fake" it for the sake of the kids. Some of the things people have been trying to guide me with... (of course I'm still confused but it might help you)
* Kids notice/absorb everything. Staying in a loveless marriage shows them an unhealthy relationship.
* No matter how hard we try, the kids will pick up the tension and insincerity between the parents and it will effect them.
* Can I really fake it for YEARS or am I just lying to myself and just putting off the inevitable.
I won't get into the debate about how kids are effected by divorce because we all know there is an effect. To me sometimes I look at the damage like divorce is cancer. If I go then it's like taking the chemo and my kids suffering with intense pain for a shorter period of time with the hope of happier times in the near future. Or staying being the suffering through a dull pain that just never gets better and seems to last forever. Yes, either way there will be pain but which road is more 'humane'?
I would say continue to DB for yourself. DB'ing in the end is about being the best you there is and that's so important. Show your kids how much you cherish yourself and them. Hopefully, the other decision will become clearer in time.
I'm here, mostly silent, but always observing.
Smooches, Doodi
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
