There are no "only" ways. There are MULTIPLE ways. Keylogger on her computer, GPS on her car, PI, voice-activated recorder hidden under the seat of her car, etc, etc.
But one easy way is to suddenly, right after she's been texting, ask to see her phone. Have her SHOW it to you. Say "You've been acting strange lately, and I can't help but feeling that there's something you're hiding from me. Show me your phone, so I'll know I'm totally off-base here. Please know that there is another way I can get the same information, but I thought I'd ask you first, to give you an opportunity to tell me the truth."
Her response should tell you all you need to know.
You: "Wife are you having an affair?" Wife: "No I am not!" (as she says this, she puts on new pair of sexy thong underwear in front of you, she seems to be wearing a lot of new underwear lately, and she also seems to be taking care of herself much more, she spends more on hair, nails, makeup, tanning, clothes, working out, eating better and she sure does go out more than she used to)
You two months later... "OMG I can't believe she was cheating me all that time?!"
If it wasn't for the kids she would be kicked out by now, I'm sick of living a life that I don't know what's happening in it.
Yes, I get on with what I want, but she is still part of my life, she is still living in the house, and she still has not mentioned us or what's happening in the future, and it's starting to get to me.
If she wants out, fine go, if she wants to stay and work on us, great lets get on with it, but it's like people have said limbo land and I'm getting tired of it!!!
How long do I put up with it?, I don't want to kick her out as I will be putting my kids out also, she will take them, but it's getting to the stage were I'm getting resentful of whats going on, for my sake and the kids?
I admit I made mistakes, I know I've hurt her, and I want to put it right, but how long do I wait for her to commit to anything, either going or staying, she's still here so I suppose that's something, is she still hurting and watch me, she has hinted at it in the past, waiting for me to fail, I can't keep the changes up, but it is hard waiting, but I know it's worth it if we can work it out, I don't know what's best for me and the kids!!!!!!!
Last week she was being particulary on edge snapping at me and picking up on anything I said, so I asked her why is she still at home, why does she not leave if she is so unhappy and my being there is upsetting her, she told me because she had no where to go, and I don't understand how much I've hurt her. I just acknowledged everything and said that she needs to sort out what she wants and get on with it and went to bed.
Since then she has been polite, maybe even talkative a little, she is very inquisitive about who is calling me and who is texting me, think she is a little paranoid?
Anyway we are still in seperate beds, we don't really share much conversation, but when we do its polite and without any anger, the kids are great, I'm spending loads of time with them, i'm running most nights, I feel good, I've lost a fair chunk of weight, people have commented on it a lot, I've not had a drink in a month, I'm still on the anti-depressants, I think they are really working I feel great in me, just wish I had a marriage!
My wife is constantly asking how I'm feeling and do I think the tablets are making a difference, not sure if this is just idol conversation or a genuine interest in me and the future, but at least at the moment my kids are still living with me.
I am confident that there is nobody else involved, she doesn't go anywhere really, but it could be an EA?
But I cannot control what she does, so for now do I continue as it is or do I push her for an answer to what she wants and what is she doing about moving out?, I don't want to push her out but how long do we continue like this? or is she just watching the changes in me, she keeps saying that I can't keep this up, well we will see about that because I feel better than I have in years, so is she just waiting and watching before she commits to anything, I know it takes time to heel, so i need to give her that time.
You: "Wife are you having an affair?" Wife: "No I am not!" (as she says this, she puts on new pair of sexy thong underwear in front of you, she seems to be wearing a lot of new underwear lately, and she also seems to be taking care of herself much more, she spends more on hair, nails, makeup, tanning, clothes, working out, eating better and she sure does go out more than she used to)
You two months later... "OMG I can't believe she was cheating me all that time?!"
Robx were you watching my W get dressed too?
This Sh!t is textbook
Yes I was, but she told me not to tell you anything ;-)
- people having affairs can be very predictable, watch for the signs, they are easy to spot when you know what you're looking for
