Conviction is easy. So is faith when life is going your way. When it feels hardest is when life is at it's hardest, that makes it hard to hold onto. My wife just gave me the dreaded papers to sign. I'm scared to death. But this to shall pass. We'll get there. I have faith in God, me, her and us. I know this is fixable. Just didn't know how bad it had gotten when we first started. But, all things happen for a reason. I pray our marriage will come out stronger and greater than it ever was. We will be the example that I will point to and say that's what Faith and God's grace can do. "Marriage, shattered and scattered by man, made new by the Lord above!"
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
Lostinlife, Believe in yourself. believe in God's grace. All things work to His glory. The moment you give up on your dreams, is the moment they are gone.
My wife and I started out as "Just Friends." I prayed for God to give her to me as my wife. For 9 months. One night, she came to my home for me. All I did was pray and be the best friend I could be. Which is what I'm doing now. Never give up. Even if the world is black as soot, Gods light can't be hidden. Just have to look. Find small things to make you smile. Little by little, you'll be smiling all the time. You'll feel better and look better. Trust me, I did all the wrong things. I pursued my wife. hard. Gifts, cards, letters, constant phone calls, I did em all. Oh and I was a sad sack. I was needy, clingy, and horrible to be around. Hell, I didn't like me. Now I'm committed to being me. She loved me once. As me. She will again. I smile, I laugh and I'm there when she needs a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I want her to love me. But to get there, she has to be willing to be in my presence without being pissed. We're good friends now. The rest will come. I've seen too many miracles, not to believe in God's power. It's very real and very powerful. Take heart, I'm praying for you.
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
Thanks for the kind words. Mine is so wrapped up in her "start over" with someone new, she doesn't even have the time to tell me how the boy is doing in school. She hasn't talked to me in weeks.
I pray everyday, but I know in my heart she is happier abd done...yet I still have hope, if only because I believe my boys deserve a family (she could care or less)
M-38 W-37 T-16,M-11 (Oct 30,1999) S-5 S-2 Wife left 7/4/2010
"When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?" — Henry Rollins
You must keep your hope alive. Give her time and space. Let her remember the good times on her own. You can't force someone to remember their happiness. Just don't move to quickly to any decision. hold out hope. My brother got Divorced about 15 years ago and he gave an interesting piece of advice. "She'll be back for you. It may take awhile, but she'll come around." An old man told him that and he didn't believe him. When my brothers ex came back around, he had hardened his heart to her and couldn't take her back. A large part of him still regrets it. So, stand tall with the Lord and keep your head up unless you're praying. You're still you. She's still her. There was something magical about that combo before. She'll remember. When Faith and determination are all you have, determine not to let go of faith!
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
My wife wants us to be "really good friends." I'll never give up. She invited me over tomorrow night to spend the night. The kids and me are going out of town this weekend and she wants to help us to get an early start. I have high hopes and realistic expectations. Don't push. She's already decided its over. Have to let her change her mind. Can't make her.
I don't know the specifics of your story, but she's prolly still in there. She "wants to be happy." She just isn't sure what makes her happy. People don't realize "The key to your happiness is in you." No one can make you happy. That's up to you. It's up to her. She just needs to realize that. Same as my wife.
My wife thinks she's happy right now, because she is partying with her new friends and she's "free." Something I learned years ago, the party ends. It's gets dull. You start to miss your family and the ones who love you no matter what. Your friends aren't near as smart or interesting as you thought. I just pray it's soon. I'm tough, but not this tough. I couldn't have made it this far without Gods strength.
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
The best piece of advice in "The Divorce Remedy" is, IMO, This will take time. Your marriage didn't get this far gone overnight. If it took years to deteriorate to this point, it might take a year or more to get it back. Think of it as a test for yourself to see how bad you want your marriage. That's what I do. It would be real easy to turn angry and bitter, but that won't get me closer to my goal. So, I decided to work towards that goal and keep my eye on that. Focus on the solution, not the problem. You know what the problem is, won't do you any good to focus on that.
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
Roy, you are such an inspiration! Your determination to keep faith, hope and love is just what I needed to hear now, when I'm so down.
Yesterday, I couldn't think of any other thought but "it's hopeless, move on", I could think only of bad memories, and wasn't able to invite good ones into my mind. Well, I could, but they didn't produce that warm feeling, happy thoughts, just numbness, nothing... How do you do that, when everything seems dark?
God bless you and your family,
Sky's Wife
Me:48 H:48 M:23, T:27 DD 24 Bomb 1 07/27/10,IDLY,moved out without notice while I was at funeral Bomb 2 09/30/10, "I can't return home, I want D" Found out OW in picture since 07/09 D'd: 04/01/11
Sky's wife, it's not easy, sometimes my thoughts go dark. But I refuse to live in that state of mind. It produces nothing but pain. Don't want to feel that. I work on myself a lot. In a way, this is a good thing. I found out, I don't like me very much. But i used to like me, but I had changed and not for the better. So I also working on being the man I set out to be. She fell in love with that guy, and I pray she will again. Even on the outside chance she doesn't, I still have to like me. There are 3 songs that play regularly on my radios that inspire me: Lead Me by Sanctus Real, That's what Faith Can Do by Kutless, and Man I Wanna Be by Chris Young. I don't own the Cd's. They just play a lot on my radio. And always at the right times to lift my spirits. God loves us and He KNOWS whats best for us. But moving on has never been an option. My faith has never waivered and it never will.
Last edited by Royloveshiswife; 10/11/1008:22 PM.
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
