She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

Ok, so I'm ready to come back slightly less angry and feeling some sense of accomplishment from completing a longer than expected house project. Before moving on to the next epic task - outside the house, I figure I should update the sitch and the whole place is shuttered. WTF have you all been doing in my absence?
MC has ended. It really wasn't MC since W is still in EA/PA during the process. The MC was fairly useless to me, but allowed my offending spouse to vent a bit about her anger. It was all the same old routine, but now she found a sympathetic ear and MC complied by identifying my "issues". Didn't even get the credit for sitting there after enduring W's A. She counseled that I needed to engage.
The only credit I give MC is that she said we needed to agree on a common goal. I indicated I was there for my marriage. W, unsurprisingly, wouldn't commit. So no mo MC.
School's back in and so are extra-curricular events for the kids. W and I are seeing each other 4-5 days a week at practices, games, etc. Tonight was a little cool for FL on the bleachers and she curled forward to stay warm. I slid over next to her an rubbed her shoulders and back - totally awkward, but it seemed like what I was supposed to do. She's been making plans for dinners and Sunday activities with the kids.
I worry this is confusing to the kids and my IC is thinking same. We act like a family yet we are not together at night. There's no R discussion, just daily events and the kids. However, there's always some other distraction. A good work friend fell over the weekend and broke her legs. Her co-worker and partner in crime friend decides her fake chest no longer aligns with her redneck husband. What a surprise - acting single, getting hammered and showing 'em off gets you attention. Now they're going through it. Poor SOB is blaming my W for being a bad influence. Welcome to hell friend! W and friend have an awesome circular reinforcement going. I'm just trying to keep the head down and be there to get the kids and keep her wacky schedule flexible.
If I ever doubted my own self-esteem, I have to laugh at the pathetic OM watching his girlfriend spend days with me- yet they are in love. Fortunately the winner's been given the gift of foreclosure so he has something to keep him busy.
This post coincides with the one-year WTF bomb anniversary, so there's a little pain in the posting. However, I'm sampling churches and my work, working out and coaching duties still provide distraction.
My IC thinks it's time for an ultimatum. My piousness and benevolence has been tested for too long according to her. Not so sure. I'm saddest about her apparent acceptance that she can attempt a family atmosphere amid an affair. She needs a 2x4, but I'm not the one to provide it.