Hi everyone! Just checking in. I've been so busy lately! It's coming up on one year (Dec.2) since H dropped his bomb (ILYNILWY, blah, blah, blah). I am hoping that is the only midlife/mental crisis he will have, because I don't know if I could ever go through it again!
Anyway, after months of hurting, mean words, "I want a divorce", etc, by Feb. of this past year (Feb. 2003) we were on our way back to a great R.
I don't know how to link to my previous threads, but if you'r interested, I think you can just look it up on here somehow.
H is now the man I married, I am now the woman he married, only we are both better versions, lol. He knows I need words to make me feel secure in our R (that's my love language), and he needs physical touch, and time alone w/me. We have both learned how to meet each other's needs.
He sends me emails quite a bit, just to let me know he's thinking about me, and he tells me how much I mean to him (in the emails, lol, he's still not so great about it in person, but it's enough for me!). I make myself available to him for cuddling, hanging out on the couch, "other things", lol!
The best thing that happened to me, I think, was the bomb. Only because it gave me a kick in the butt to get my own life, and stop living through him!
I did that! I belong to a volunteer org. on base, I belong to the a wives club that meets once a month, I go out on my own at least once every two weeks, I putter around the house when I need to get things done, instead of always wanting to be up his butt. I walk two miles a day with a friend of mine.
I feel like I'm a better partner, wife, lover, and mother because of all of this. But, I want to say that I don't know if it would have happened without you guys and this board! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are getting ready to move off this base (from Hawaii to Ohio!). We will be in Ohio by mid Jan. All of our things will be packed and shipped out Jan. 5/6. Our car needs to be shipped by Jan. 7. It takes about 30 days or more for all of our things to reach the mainland. I can't wait to leave, but I'm sad to go, hope that makes sense.
When we first got here, I HATED it here, but since I've gotten my own life, and stopped living through H, I LOVE IT here. We've been going snorkeling every few weeks, doing lots of family things too. I'll miss all of that. Oh well, on to new adventures I guess.
We will be in Ohio for about a year and then we will settle in Lafayette, NY (near Syracuse) when H retires from the AF. He's only going to be 38, so he will probably get another job at some point, but for a while I will get to go back to work teaching while he watches our little one, our older d will probably be starting Kindergarten by then.
Lots of things happening, getting ready for Christmas too! We have put up the lights, (only to take them down again so soon, lol), and decorated the inside of the house. We will put up our tree next weekend. I'm pretty excited.
Well, my baby (she's two so I guess she's not a baby anymore) is calling for me. Gotta go! Hope all is well with everyone! Jill
Jill, Thanks for sharing! It will be 11 months since the bomb for me on Dec 3. And I would have never dreamed H and I would be where we are right now: Reconnecting! Good luck!
