lost

[gutwrenching]

It appears that you telling the kids may have been the crisis that made her realize how selfish she was and what she was doing. Hard to say, we can't mind read. You are doing well in not becoming melty man and making her think about, and making her wonder if you will take her back.

Time to think about boundaries for reconcilliation, time to gather your thoughts and dig deep for what you want and how to proceed