I think it would be worth rereading what SO Bear has written, without dismissing it out of hand. I find all his writings to be compassionate, helpful and objective. It would probably be worth looking at why you feel compelled to shoot him down.
I have also found that some of the posters on the SSM forum are intrenched in their bitterness against the LD partner that they have mind-read them into being extremely and even sadistically happy with their half-marriages. Attempts to project this onto other SSM spouses seems like an attempt to promote defeatism.
I have observed that in every case where the HD spouse managed to break through the LD spouses defences, they discovered that the LD spouse was hurting just as much as they were.
