As to your situation. You have managed to construct a friendship which I admire. As long as your primary motive is not punishment, in your shoes I would now gently withdraw the friendship.
You have nothing to lose. What you have done is good in that you maintained a relationsihp - something I have been unable to do. But now it is time for a change. You can say it or not. Withdrawing without explanation is more powerful in my view, because explaining implies that there is a relationship.
I agree completely that you have to do something different however especially when you have a spouse that is stuck, doing something different should be for you, not to get a reaction from your spouse. I don't think that was what beatrice was suggesting, I'm just clarifying. When someone is stuck, what do you have to lose? Find things to do that fulfill you and learn to be happy with the life you do have regardless of your marital situation. It is more than just GAL...it's GAL without looking back and wondering...it is GAL with total and complete detachment. You can't do this to make your spouse notice...you have to do it for YOU. And if they do happen to notice and it helps them move forward, great...if it doesn't, you have only gained more independence and strength to keep moving forward yourself.
I'm not saying anything new here but I just think too many LBS do things to GAL and then wait to see how their spouse reacts. Do things for yourself and let everything fall into place. You will be much happier.
