Albuquerque living

[Albuquerque]

OK, just when I feel like I'm getting stronger and stronger each day, my H continues to throw me curve balls. I posted about his odd visit last night. Now he sends me this email this morning.


Heya -

I was thinking, last night, when I couldn't sleep at all, that we should get together and talk. You said in a recent email that there was the option of "discussion if I ever choose to reassess", or something like that. I think that I would like to do that. See where we are. I miss talking to you, and you seem to have kind of blossomed recently in the communication department (among other things).

I'd like to talk about stuff that isn't appropriate for D to hear. We obviously can't talk after she goes to bed, since she beats you silly in that category. And, to be honest, I think I would like a couple glasses of sake (or something) in me. It seems like the last couple times we did sushi, and we both had sake, that the conversation flowed a little easier? I don't know, maybe I'm imagining that part. Anyway, that kind of rules out a talk during school.

So what do you think of one evening having her spend the night at her friend's or something. I can come over, we can talk, no one has to drive. I'm not fishing for any hanky panky or anything here ( and would actively discourage that in any case ), but we could talk as much as we wanted, and I could crash on the couch, and that would be that. Does that sound weird or anything?

Ah, I see that next week is the Tulsa trip. Hmmm. Guess you're busy that Friday. The Friday after looks ideal, but I'm feeling chatting now-ish, rather than two weeks from now-ish.

I guess D could be there, just have her play a game in her room or something. I don't know. Thoughts? I'm open to other ideas, and if lunch works better, that's fine. Can do sake another time.

Anyway, just throwing it out there. I'm not sure how you feel about things, and I guess I would like to know, is the point.

I would like folk's opinions on this. Is this forward movement? In a way I suppose. But like I posted in my last post, he is still very very broken. I can't have reasonable discussions with a mad man. On the other hand, I am interested in hearing what he has to say. Just yesterday, he was still posting back and forth with OW so that certainly factors into things significantly. But again, that is mere speculation on my part and I could be misinterpreting things (but I REALLY don't think so). So what to do?

I guess my thoughts right now are to email him back and let him know we can do lunch next week. I know he wants to have some alcohol in him to have the discussion, but that doesn't seem like a good idea. But if other's have varying opinion, I'm open to listening. I have no expectations of anything at this point. Even though this is the "email I've been waiting for for 9 months", I realize now that this is only one small step. A step in the right direction perhaps but I'm still quite wary. I would greatly appreciate recommendations on not only how to respond, but also any words of wisdom when dealing with the actual conversation.