Here I am.

[Hosea]

Ok I backslid a bit. Ok maybe a lot I dunno. After that phone call, I knew that she wasn't full blown back with me at all. It just proved to me she was confused. However, over the next few phone calls, she was really warm to me and thanked me for setting up her a Rosetta Stone acct. She even slipped up and called me babe. I know this wasn't a conscious thing, it just means she was more comfortable talking to me.

So for the past two weeks, we've been chatting on FB more and once we got the children stuff out of the way, we had nice convos. I wasn't even initiating all the convos. Later I did send an email with a joke I got from my dad.

Last night, I told her about S5's kg teacher's concerns about his social development and that I was taking him to get a referal to a pediatric behaviorlist. She was upset, of course, but recognized that I am the man on the scene and she hasn't been around for 4 months especially seeing him on the playground and at school.

Later, I saw on FB that right before I told her this she had done a stupid relationship test on FB and it said "True Love" *puke* I know she wasn't taking it with me in mind. Now she might think that this whole thing with S5 is a ploy as she doesn't think theres anything wrong with him.

I had taken her greatly decreased activity with OM on FB, her saying she still loved me and those nice convos as a sign that things might be warming up.

She had said she doesn't even know why I love during that phone call. So I had sent her a 6 page letter telling her exactly why. I also sent out a few lighthearted gifts (nothing serious like jewelry or anything) just to make her deployment more pleasant. She hasn't received any of this yet. Where I screwed up big time was I filled out Dr. Harley's emotional needs questionnaire on my end and sent it to her. I was truthful and it wasn't really that scathing, as most of the actions that led to our problems this past year were honestly on my end. Now I know she really doesn't even want to hear about that kind of stuff and will probably see it as critisizm as I've never been one to express my feelings so bluntly in the past. All I can do is damage control on that now as its in the mail.


Now I'm going back to what was working. Detachment and aloofness. My lesson learned from this is if MWD tells you to keep doing what is working, keep at it and don't just stop because you perceive the ice thawing a little.