Last night I went to my bible study and we finished early. On Wednesday's I've arranged for my wife to pick up D13 from her gynastics class, that way I don't have to rush out before we're finished. Last night we finished early and my first thought was "I can go pick D up and save wife the trip", I mentioned this thought to my friend who said "sure, go ahead and call your ex and tell her you'll pick D up" and then I said "You know what, I'm not going to. One of the things I used to do was run around doing all the picking up and dropping off etc to make her life easier. But, sometimes when you do too much you're not really helping, so I'm going to let her take care of it" and I did. When we were together I took care of pretty much everything because she had a demanding job and degree course she was taking at night and I wanted to help keep her stress down. I thought it showed love. She, on the other hand, felt guilty and not a part of the family because I took care of everything. So, part of my healing, is learning not to do too much for others. Was it really love or my need to be in control? Still wondering!
