I said I know what I don't want, and that's more of what we've been doing the last month, or even the last years of our marriage. Then I really hit it home by saying I've been bored out of my mind; watching TV every night is just boring to me; I want to go out, dance, listen to music, watch a movie, see a symphony, LIVE!
And she got defensive, and said "I want to do those things too, but they cost money that we don't have." We do have the money, we just have never prioritized having fun like we should have. We settled into being parents.
She knew I wanted to check out a Krav Maga class, and could only talk a few more minutes before we had to put our girls to bed. Then she got up, and crying said "I'm going to be alone again." before walking out of the bedroom.
And amazing things happen when you let go, take the weight off your spouse. Even as I type this I'm in shock.
First, I'm in the downstairs bathroom coercing our daughters to brush their teeth. W comes up with a pair of scissors, and says I have a stray lock that the haircutter missed last week. I told her she didn't need to "fix" my hair, and she said "Yes, I do!" Normally she's almost uncaring about my appearance.
I was pretty relieved myself, much more my joking, sarcastic self with her and the girls. I carried D5 upstairs, making zombie sounds, and tucking her into bed. W was helping and threw some stuffed toy at me. I gave her a look and said "Don't make me hurt you... " and she said "Haven't you hurt me enough already?" in a smiling, playful way. I said "I can do more..."
