Is there any hope for us?

[NotFromThesePart]

SoA,

I'm glad you are making progress. One day at a time. Someone recommended fitness. This has been amazingly helpful for me. As they said, even just walking. A couple weeks ago I bought a pair of new hiking boots. Each day for the last week I've been walking a 2.8 mile loop through a local park. It is not a big deal, but it is something. I feel good each time I complete it. It is a new routine. Not hard, not impressive but new and something to look forward to. Something to take up time and give my day structure.

There are many such things. Running, walking golf, swimming, tennis. Anything. But having some small scheduled thing to look forward to and complete daily has been hugely important to me. A dog is a good idea too.

Rings? Mine is off. Taking it off was harder than not waring it. Mine is clipped to a carabiner. I don't know why. It seemed like the thing to do. Taking it off does not have to be a super meaningful event.

If reading helps, then by all means do it. But all the reading in the world can't change H's mind.

If you are at all like me, time is the issue more than anything else. How to make the clock tick faster. Structure, planning and routine helps me. Give yourself a list of goals for the day. Anything. 1)Do laundry, 2) Read the paper 3) post 5 times on divorce busting.com . . . . . What is less important the the routine and completing things.

Finally, every time you feel the need to call/email/write/text H. Post here first. Ask for advice. I've found each time I do it, put my thoughts into writing, the immediate urge is satisfied and I can stay dark.

Good luck and we are all pulling for you. You will get through this and you will be a better person in the end.