Looking for help with WAW

[robx]

no update necessary,
it's all you now,
you can let her know when it's sold.

[mza8]

I left a voice mail tonight to update W. I was upbeat and kept it short. Just said I'm still working on it, waiting to hear from the agent and will contact her if/when I hear anything tomorrow. Wished her good night and that was it. I believed it was the right thing to do to at least give her a quick update.

Yes, at this point it is all me now. Emailed agent back tonight to strongly encourage a contract tomorrow. Will follow-up in the morning with agent too. Hopefully tomorrow is a good day. Haven't had too many lately and sure could use one tomorrow.

[robx]

btm was on this site several years ago,
he's back again,
he spent 99% of the time doing what he "felt" he should do and got the same results you are seeing, he finally begins to listen, to move on with his life and his wife gets emotional over his acceptance that the marriage is over and his moving on with life by beginning to date other women, follow his thread, check out pages of every wrong thing he did, he is only now beginning to see some progress because he finally listened and tried something different:

OK Rob. I needed that. I think I am actually a little scared that I am truly ok with the end of the marriage and almost apprehensive about finding too much happiness elsewhere. I hope that makes sense.

Gotta tell this part - this morning I stopped by WAW's workplace to drop off clothes for S16 who started working there today. WAW asked if my pants were new. "Yes" I said. "They make your ___ look big" was her response. We talked for a few minutes about a work issue of mine. She asked for a hug when I left and I gave her one.

By the way...she cried during our phone conversation and made a comment about being "gipped" because I am now going to meet someone, fall in love and they are going to get the better me.

I thought that was a big thing. No?

[mza8]

I hear you Robx. This is a big issue with the house though and I thought it was the right thing to do to update her.

Right now I'm still waiting to hear back from the agent. I left her another voice mail this morning and she still has not returned my calls. Very unprofessional. Not much I can do at this point.

I have the paperwork completed for plan B. I can either proceed with plan B later today or fisrt thing tomorrow morning...which is cutting it very close.

I called W this morning and she answered. We talked for about 15 minutes. I just kept it about updating her about the latest news. I did not tell her about my possibly doing plan B. I asked her if she made any calls to any attorneys or anything for the house and she said no...she didn't think it would make a difference. I asked her what she thought if the house goes to foreclousre tomorrow. She said there's nothing we can do about it now and it's the 23rd hour. It was really tough to see if she cared or not if the house goes tomorrow. She was at work and was whispering at times so I know she couldn't talk openly with people around her. She didn't like that I told the buyer's agent that we would need a decision by this afternoon. She felt I was pressuring the buyers. Hello?! If we don't get a contract today then it's too late tomorrow. Yes, it's time to put a little pressure on the buyers.

Doesn't sound like she has any back-up plan for tomorrow. I guess she's just resigned herself to the fact it might go tomorrow. I couldn't tell if it bothered her or not.

I'll give the agent a few more hours and then call again. It's all I can do now.

[robx]

few more hours?

Call every hour on the hour,
this is business,
you can't afford to be polite,
does the agent know that tomorrow is too late and the buyers will need to consider other properties.

Are the buyers waiting for the property to go into foreclosure and then speak the bank themselves about picking it up on the cheap?

[robx]

so what's the update?
If the agent isn't getting back to you,
they are stalling for some reason - maybe the buyers have changed their mind? There is no reason that agent would be that busy, if it's taking forever for your house to sell and it's well priced, that means real estate in the area in general isn't doing well, they would be jumping at getting their clients to sign the papers, commission is commission.

Patience is just another psycho babble term that doesn't mean squat...

Who says you HAVE to have patience?
Who says that patience=success?

I have seen MANY people on here that have been patient for YEARS. Being patient has been their PROBLEM...

Patience, like most any other trait, can be used for good or it can be taken to the extreme and be the exact wrong thing to be seeking as if it is some kind of miracle helper..



I don't see much advantage to having patience with a spouse who is having and affair or a spouse who can't make up their mind what they want....

[mza8]

Ok, here's the latest.

Agent emailed me back this afternoon and said they are giving me the contract tomorrow afternoon. That's good and bad. Good that they are submitting the contract but bad because it comes after the foreclousre auction time scheduled for noon.

I've been in contact with the judge today in the court handling the foreclosure case, the bank's attorneys, my attorneys, you name it. The judge's office contacted the bank's attorneys to see if they would be willing to stop the sale. They said they would cancel it but they need authorization from the bank and passed on another number for me to call. I called that number and spoke to a supervisor who told me the bank would need the contract before the auction. They also told me they need 24 hours to approve this and at this point they couldn't cancel it even if I had a contract today. BS! The attorneys representing the bank told me they could still stop it.

I have a local VP contact with the bank that I've been emailing and he's trying to help us. I told him that we'll receive the contract by tomorrow afternoon and the letter of intent later this evening. I told him we would receive the contract just a matter of a few hours after the scheduled auction time.

So now I can't do much more until morning. This has got to be the absolute stupidest thing I have ever seen in my life. We have a contract coming tomorrow that pays off the entire loan for the bank and they can't postpone the auction? It's just got me shaking my head. It looks as thought I actually have to go with plan B and file in the morning to stop the auction so I can buy myself a few lousy hours until I get the contract. Unfortunately once I begin plan B it stays with me even if I withdrawl it the next day. Feel like this is some sort of bad dream.

Anyway, I'm handling it. I've been so focused the past few days making these calls and taking care of business. Reminds me of how I used to be prior to the past 2-3 years of hard times. I've worked my tail off with this situation.

So we'll see what the morning brings. I will only have 1-2 hours to make one last effort to stop the sale before I would need to file plan B. Unfortnuately it looks like that's the way this is headed which is so unneccessary if the bank would just give us a matter of a few more hours. Not sure what else I can do now? I know one thing when this is all over I'm sleeping for a week.

[Coach]

It will work out. Ask the bank VP if he would treat his grandmother this way?

Cheers

[mza8]

Well I see the boards are back up. So much has happened in the past several days. My W had an epiphany and decided to come back. We decided not to sell the house and moved back in together over the weekend…ok, not really.

Ok, real update. I was able to stop house from foreclosure. Had to go with plan B to do it though. Buyers seemed to have backed out…haven’t heard from them since last week. New set of potential buyers might be interested. I’m working on that.

W and I talked a few times last Wednesday night about house. She texted me around midnight asking if I was awake. I texted back yes and then she called me. We talked for about a half hour. She said she didn’t think it would work out for us to sell the house even with more time with me going with plan B the next day (Thursday). She said nothing has ever worked out for us with this stuff over the past 3 years. She said to just let the house go to foreclosure. I listened to everything she said. When she was finished I said I understand where she’s coming from. I told her that I’m not trying to convince her of my decision rather just trying to explain my reasons for doing so. She said something along the lines of me always “forcing” things and that’s not the way to get things to come back and work out. Not sure if we were talking about the house or the M at that point. I didn’t even comment. I just explained my side of things again and she repeated about me forcing things.

The next day I went with plan B. Not a fun day but I did not see any other choice. I texted her after and said it was done and the house was safe for now. She just texted back “ok”. I promised her I would call later in the day to discuss how we proceed with the house. I left her a voice mail and didn’t hear back from her Thursday. She emailed me the next day thanking me for the update and saying we’ll see how things go with the house. I didn’t respond. She emailed me again on Sunday for a house update. I didn’t respond. She emailed again on Monday for a house update and I didn’t respond. She called me yesterday and left me a voice mail asking for a house update and also a question about the bank. I haven’t responded to that yet either.

Ever since last Thursday my thinking has sort of changed. I don’t really care or see the need to contact her anymore about the house unless we get a contract. I’m not sure why she’s contacted me 4 times since last Thursday about the house. If I have news I will contact her. I feel like she did as the WAS when she first left. I don’t care much about what she thinks or if it gets her upset. Feel like I need to get my self-respect back now. I guess I’ll email or call her sometime later today with an update and answer her question about the bank.

[mza8]

I still haven't contacted W back yet. For some reason I just can't bring myself to do it. She emailed me again late last night asking for a house update and if she could call me today. I honestly don't even want to talk to her right now. She's contacted me 5 times since last Friday and I haven't responded at all. Not sure why.

Met with my IC this morning. He thinks I'm angry and it's because I'm still doing things to help us both but she only does things for herself. I'm not sure. I don't feel the anger anymore. IC suggested I call her to give her an update. Suggested if she says anything about why I haven't responded to tell her I'm weary and worn out from the past couple of weeks and need a break. Not sure this is really how I feel. I can't even sort out my emotions lately.

Her brother is getting married this weekend. That's a bit difficult for me that I'll miss out on that. The ironic part is the next week she could file for D if she chooses. I think she's a bridesmaid in the wedding. I wonder if when she's standing at the altar listening to the priest talk about marriage and then the vows, if it will touch her at all. Sort of interesting that within a week's time she can witness the birth of a marriage and the death of a marriage.

I don't know what I want right now. I do know that I need to get back to GAL which I have put on hold the past few weeks because of the house sitch. I just want to be able to catch my breath right now...get the house sold and worry about her later.