Best suited here now

[ericmsant2]

Do I want a divorce? No

Then honestly dude – stop looking at her. Stop thinking that everything you do will have an impact on the R. Stop trying to figure it all out. Stop worrying.

Do I love her? Yes

Well what does Love mean to YOU. Describe it?

Do I like her right now? No

Do you have to like someone to love them? And FTR, chit I don’t like her either right now….I don’t like what she is doing to you.

Do I trust her? No

I get it….so should you trust that you have changed? Or that you will change? If so, what is the difference between the two of you?

Does she trust me? Don't know, but probably not. [/quote
Probably not then again…you could ask her out for a drink and ask her. Just kidding dude..chit maybe I’m not – no I am. Sorry dude, I was trying to lighten the mood.

[quote]Is she lieing to me? Yes

Yes they do that sometimes….usually because they are running from something. Right now, that something is YOU.

Since I brought up attorney and mediation, she is all for talking about finances now.

Of course she is…did you expect she would not.

Is she sincere about this? Don't know - My suspicions are = She is scared I will stop the Divorce and she's trying to cover up the financial screw ups.

She probably is. Does that change what you need to do for YOU.

Do I want to delay the Divorce? Yes and No

Yes - Reasons: Need binding financial agreement with witnesses; chance for her to see things differently; chance to buy time for a change of heart; Show her I'm not scared of how she will react; To follow through when I told her if I found out that she's been lieing to me, I would pursue a Lawyer for protection; Make her do more than just get what she wants (i.e. You want divorce so bad, you do all the work); So I don't feel like I just gave in and ran.

Are you sure that you are ready to enforce a boundary. Like I said to you before if you are concerned about your finance well then protect yourself. Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

No - Reasons why I'm tempted to give in: So I can run too; So I can drop her from insurance and she can feel the financial pinch; I can do whatever the hell I want from scratch; So I never have to deal with her again - Begin letting go for real; So she can't say I'm just being vindictive; So she can't say I didn't love her enough to let her go; So I can continue to just do like I've always done and just give up (aka Go play Warcraft, drink til I cant see str8, and pretend probs don't exist anymore; So she can bang whoever the f*ck she wants, fall flat on her face if she chooses, and I don't ever have to worry about her again.

Wow dude….did you ever speak to her like that. FTR, I don’t want to be on YOUR bad side. Think YOU can control YOUR emotions? Do you think that she TRUST that YOU can control YOUR EMOTIONS?
That chit up there is a ton of anger…..a ton….so are you sure that you still love this woman? If so, then act like it! What is more manly to you dude….bitchin and moanin and trying to stomp her out like a roach OR becoming a man that one day she, me, your friends, your family and more importantly YOU will look up to? I know what I would choose then again..maybe to some I am not a man. Guess what I know what I am!

I guess I'm just scared.

Fear….personally I hate that mother f*cker. So what are you afraid off? Afraid you lost her? Dude she is already gone. Afraid that you can’t find anyone else like her? Doubtful. What are you Afraid of? Don’t just say “I’m afraid” - define it. Call it what it is and then face that f*cker. Pssttt….hint…usually we are afraid of chit we can’t control.

That's very true and I'm scared of how she will react Thursday

Can you control how she reacts? NO. Can you control how YOU react? Yep! So just worry about YOU for now.

I'm not viewing this as a game and I'm not sure whether to be offended or not by that statement.

You actually have a right to feel any way you want about that statement. IMO, the game comment was because what Grit (in his Pink Beaver shirt) probably saw was that you are still trying to manipulate and control her a bit…I saw it too..a little too much anger is YOUR description of what she was thinking. Dude, we have all been there. Your still angry and that’s okay man…really it is. Just don’t let your anger force you to make fuc*ed up choices. I am not saying be a doormat either..just don’t be an ass (and NO I am not calling you an ass…I see your anger and so I’m afraid of you…just kidding).

I gave her a fair option this time. Changed it up. If anything I quit using the dogs as leverage and tried to rise to be a better person about it. That exchange up above was me being fair. Her reaction, turned it into a test, and now? Well she doesn't want to see them that bad afterall. You tell me who's playing a f*cking game. Me or Her. Who is using the dogs to get to who? Sorry, but this statement pissed me off.

First off, is it better to be pissed on or pissed off? Don’t answer….
Look, regardless of what you say up there ^^^^….I have been EXACTLY where you are…so I’m calling bullchit! Fu*k that…you are pissed off and NOW she MUST do things that WAY YOU want them done. So yeah…you let her see the dogs on YOUR conditions! Know what…how is M suppose to work if everything is YOUR way? You mentioned a test? How the f*ck do you know if she was testing you. If you can read mind, then send me something on the alt and I’ll give you my W number…you can then read her mind. Bottom line…YOU ARE LOOKING AT HER AND NOT at YOU.

The part of me that I do want.

Well then start killing that part. There is a difference between being firm in your convictions, doing something to protect yourself emotionally, financially and being any anger prick that utilizes tactic to try and win someone back.

Faith, I don’t know you from a hole in the wall…but man do I see a lot of the OLD me in YOU! AND thank GOD that old me died. You can’t see it now buddy…but sit back for a bit and ask yourself a very simple question……

Would you want to be married to YOU right now?

Good luck tomorrow…In all things be truthful and do what is right and just for YOU…not for revenge…not in anger…just because it is the RIGHT thing to do….even my friend if it hurts. Live your life this way….and trust me….she just may come running back and eating out of your hands….

Sorry for the long post.

God Bless,
Eric