Getting back to her self-esteem, your W could think that you think she is fiscally irresponsible, a bad parent, etc. Maybe, if you're like most of us, you did harbor such feelings and either let her know it or she "felt" it. If so, those are areas in which you can help her with her self esteem. Not suggesting fawning, etc. Just saying that if there are areas in which you contributed to her self-esteem problems, you might want to address that.
I try to support her, reinforce good behavior, etc. Some of this stems from her mother, whom she feels never loved her. Can't really argue with her on that, since I wasn't around the two of them very much; I just try to listen and validate.
