A new beginning to an end

[soleil]

Today is 1 year since I moved out of my home. It doesn't even feel like it. My time tense is way off. I feel like a year just went by and I did nothing (which isn't true) but I feel like I've been standing in the middle of a thunderstorm and haven't moved.
I am trying and will get through this eventually.

I started to see him and treat him as I would the mailman.
It also helped to visualize throwing that darn rope as far and as hard as I could. No more reason to pick it up and play the game. You will get there.

Good advice. I will pretend the rope is not anywhere near me.

Reality will set in one day. You might never know a thing about it but it will. No human being is immune to the grieving process and the longer your H delays his, the worse it will be.

I don't buy the notion that time heals all because it doesn't. Time does give you a new perspective though.

And you can really look at any situation where you have no emotional investment and see the parallels.

I think you are right on all points. Time does lessen the blwo but sometimes the scar remains. I think that will be the case with my sitch. And of course, the person with less emotional involvement/attachment feels less. Sucks I am on the other side of that.

Noted. I hope he's happy. ::sarcasm::

Sorry. I've purposely avoided saying it in the past..

Why? You didn't want to hurt my feelings? LOL. I can take it. Did you think he was seeing someone that whole time IR? I wonder if he was seeing someone before I left, not that it matters. And if he continued to see random club girl would you guys consider that cheating or not cheating since we were living apart (though doing MC and hanging most weekends, having sex, etc?) To me, it feels like that is cheating. I've never had an age issue in my life before learning this chick he slept with is 23. About the same age I was when I met him. Now I feel...old(er). I know it's sily but damn. That seems so young. He is 33.

It was CTH's casual words that gave me that jolt I needed to wake up. He simply said 'Don't be a martyr'- don't know why on that day those words did it for me.

Interesting cause I remember you said those same words to me! LOL. You told me that when I said I was thinking about signing the house over to stbx. Thank goodness I took everyone's advice and hired my own L (who I think is pretty cool, btw).