At some point we will need to sit down and discuss divorce agreements and things related to custody, etc. How should I go about that? I will be attending the required coparenting class Oct 8, hers is Nov 4. Should I wait a bit and schedule a day to discuss only that or just send messages regarding it? I'm concerned all my efforts will go to waste if I have a sit down too soon. Advice?
You don't need to talk about anything from the coparenting class. There is nothing to discuss there.
Let the attorneys handle as much of the divorce agreements as you are comfortable with.
Regarding custody arrangements, we HAD to go to a mediation session for that and the mediator kept us on topic.
You can talk with her if you think you need to, but just stick to the topic aand your guns. Don't cave in on anything.
My W's fallback is "I can't help it, that's just what the court ordered. They do this all the time and they know what is right." Our child custody mediator said we should change our placement arrangement as soon as we agreed upon it to make the transitioin easier for the kids, but W won't do it "until the court order is changed" at our next hearing, which was just delayed another 3 weeks. I am using her logic back on her when she asks for me to pay for certain things for the kids. "I am already overpaying you based on "normal" standards for child-support and alimony. The court order does not say anything about "sharing" other expenses and I want to stick to the court order until it is changed."
If there is something my kids really need, I will buy it if I have to, but everything else is going to be paid for by her until we change the placement arrangements as agreed to.
Just be businesslike in any of your dealings with her. You can do this and you will be fine.
