I do believe I am still dependant on my H emotionally. I dont know how to stop it. I am that way with anyone though. I dont like confrontation and I hate for anyone to be unhappy with me or anything I do. That is just me.
Originally Posted By: kissak
but I always feel bad leaving him out even if thats what he wants.
That does not have to just BE you. You like to read, have you read "Co-dependant No More"? I would highly recommend it for you, asap. I hear a lot of codependant stuff up there (and I recognize it for a reason ). It is not his responsibility to make you happy kissak ... only you can do that, and you CAN do that with or without him. I promise ... but it takes work, and hon, now is the time for you to really focus on that work.
Originally Posted By: kissak
TOday...he is texting me. Said he is an a--hole. I asked was he telling me or asking me? Now how do I validate that? I asked him why did he think he was an ahole, he replyed just because he was. OK, only when he wants to be is what I said. He replyed "whatever".
A very simple "I'm sorry you feel that way" and then let it drop. Don't engage in the back and forth. "Only when he wants" is true, but he's going to hear that as blaming, and the concept is one he's going to have to come to understand on his own. Show him by example.
Lance is right, marriage is a two way street in the overall scheme of things. Sometimes though, traffic only moves one way for a while as the potholes on the other get fixed up.
PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
). It is not his responsibility to make you happy kissak ... only you can do that, and you CAN do that with or without him. I promise 
... but it takes work, and hon, now is the time for you to really focus on that work.
