I also think marriage is a give and take. You both have "needs", he wants you to take care of his "needs". Is he ready to take care of your "needs"?
This can not be a one way street. If it is, then he is still in the tunnel, in some stage.
I am confused at this point whether there is/was an OW or not. My "guess" is that the OW is gone and that your are rebuilding your marriage. I can not be positive by what is written on these boards.
No matter what, you will not go wrong with what PEI has said.
Remember that your old H is gone. This is a new model, whether it is improved yet I can not say.
Rebuilding does not mean that the crisis is over. It just means that he may not be running away.