I'm sitting on a computer at a resort in northern Florida the day before the dance convention. Our instructors are expected to arrive today. Our first performance is Friday afternoon. My W and I arrived early to have some free time alone.
I notice how much calmer my W seems. She is not as reactive as she used to be, and is more pleasant to be around, even with the stressor of her partial unemployment. I think she's trying and struggling. She struggles with her moods, anxiety, smoking, and insomnia.
I struggle with staying with a loving, accepting mindset in spite of the imperfections, but I'm trying. I struggle everyday and often. I try to talk with her more often, instead of staying in my own world. I try to think more like a partner.
She had been complaining about this and that about the trip until we settled in last night. I kept quiet, and let her speak her mind without having to control what she thought or said, or judge her for having her opinions. This is my effort to break my own patterns that cause problems for me and the R.
I think there is something positive here at this dance convention for both of us to grow. It seems right being here.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
