Not sure where to start or end, WAW - #2

[TimeHeals]

So, with that in mind. Do I still L up and cancel mediation?

From the very begining of your seperation, people have been telling you to retain an attorney, and if you had done that, the attorney is who you would be talking to about the wisdom of going to mediation (or not).

You deal with the things you must deal with and only those things. That's what your ego (the part of you tied to the past and imagining the future) is good for.

You use your ego as a tool to plan things, learn from your past. You do not let your ego or your unconcious (emotional) mind run the whole show like you are doing.

You let your fear, anger, sadness, etc feed your ego's desire to "do something" based on childhood emotional patterns. Your ego then imagined things that fed your fear, and that feedback pattern of your emotions feeding your ego feeding your emotions feeding your ego led you to throw a tantrum.

You have to look at this cycling for what it is: unproductive and unhealthy. You are not your negative emotions or childhood emotional patterns, and you are not your ego. They are part of who you are, but they are not who YOU are. You are also YOU in the present. You can choose to deal with the less-than-pleasant stuff, and then take the rest of your time to enjoy yourself if you want. You have to remain anchored in the present to do that. You have to deal with people without all of the history and fears of possibly unpleasant futures to act conciously.

What did your wife do *now* to cause this ruckus? I didn't read anything that didn't sound like you instigating it based on the past and your fear of the future.