Journaling - Since H announced that he is leaving for a week to see OW, decided to call a meeting to give him the latest cash flow projections (really bad) and discuss how to make happy a supplier that is threatening collection. I was calm throughout and then at the end, without me bringing it up he started to justify his trip out of town...."I know that you probably don't believe me but I'm working as hard as I can even from there" kind of speech....I didn't say anything but must have made a movement with my body and that made him really angry and he just stormed out...leaving me sitting there. This is getting worse and worse between us. Later I felt that I have to address that and sent him an email. Here it is.
I really went into the meeting today with the resolve not to get emotional and to try to discuss things calmly. You are so defensive that no matter what I do or don't do you take it personally. When I shook my shoulders I did that not because I was disagreeing with how much you work...but because I was frustrated that you'd brought it up again for the millionth time...and you just blow up and walk out on me....
The issue with your trips is not about where you are going, but that you are leaving at all when we are in such a difficult business situation. Where we should pull together and support each other to get through this.
I was thinking why are you so angry with me? What did I do to deserve this? It must be that the anger you show towards me must make it easier for you....it probably removes some of your quilt.
I do get angry with you also, obviously for different reasons.
You have no idea how sad this makes me that the two of us (remember US?) are like this to each other....breaks my heart all over again every time I see you..
Have a good day
I'll probably get some 2x4 for this one.....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I dont understand the anger or why they project it on us! My H can be the nicest he can to others...but to me?
I think the email was fine. I have sent many to my H too when he would get so mad and leave. Sometimes it was the only way to talk calmly with him.
Thinking of you Mila.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
No 2 x 4 from me. You said some things you've probably needed to get off your chest for quite some time, but did it in such a way that you couldn't come off angry or bitter.
I think it was an excellent email, and places the guilt and blame right back where it belongs . . . on him.
I'm glad to see that there were no 2x4. H is out of town....that’s actually good, don’t have to deal with him. I was mentally so exhausted this morning that I allowed myself a morning off. Took D to school and went back to bed....I needed to recoup and catch up on sleep...can’t sleep these days, been going to sleep after 3 am for the past four days. In the afternoon I went to donate blood and then went to Starbucks with D and indulged in a huge cinnamon bun...not like me. But this was I guess a day that I needed it. And in the evening I had a School committee meeting.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Hello my friends - Hope everyone coped well with being without the boards for a while. I'm still alive, went so see a lawyer yesterday and have some other H happenings....will write more when I have a little more time.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
