Well, she was pretty business like when I got home. Not in the best of moods, and wasn't very talkative. She was upset about our budget, which she's taken over responsibility for. She tried to blame some of the excessive spending on me, but her partying the last couple of weeks and her trip to see her sister are the biggest reasons we didn't hit our goals. Later that night I asked her how I could help, and she seemed a bit more relaxed about it.
While we were cleaning up the dishes from dinner, I asked her why she was crying on the phone. She just answered "Because..." and didn't say anything else.
She seemed more concerned throughout the night about getting to watch all the TV shows she had recorded. Didn't talk much about work or anything. I read a book once the girls were tucked in bed.
I had a good IC session yesterday. No obvious stuff, except the C said that I'm more relaxed in one on one sessions. I'm obviously nervous when it's a joint MC session; he said I need to be "me" like I was in the individual. Not so easy, but I'll try tomorrow.
He said that W doesn't seem to have much joy about her; I totally agreed. She's been like this for years, not much "fun" or spark in her. And now with all the stress of our relationship, it's even more pronounced. He also said he wished we had come to him 4-5 years earlier. So I don't know if he's worried about our outcome like I am.
Part of me needs to detach from her mood swings and not let her wall get to me. When I get to thinking/feeling like this, I almost feel as if I don't care anymore; knowing that a year or two like this with no improvement would be a waste. I want to be happy, I want her to be happy. Not too much to ask.
