Ok everyone settle down.. OT... Saffie and I have been 'friends" a long time....She has offered to E-mail my wife. AND if my wife wanted to read ANYTHING...I have written here I would let her. I have not only been struggling with what happened three years ago but also with my inner self. I have been through hell... Not that I am saying my life has been harder than anyone’s else’s here but let’s take toll...Lost my leg in my 20's which put an end to my career in law enforcement. My first wife became addicted to cocaine without my knowledge. (Made me look like a fool)... She left me and I had to raise a 3 mo old baby and a 3 yo daughter by myself...It took me a long time to trust a female again to get married and then when I finely do that wife cheats on me. Not only did she cheat but had me babysit our son while she did.THEN I lose my job after 23 years with the same company. And being disabled limits my job opportunities. I am a very loving guy who loves intimate contact, holding hands… who do not mind showing affection in public. Who CRAVES physical contact even something small like a tap on the side while walking by... I have gone without these for the last three years… YES things are getting better every day with my wife. But I still have insecurity’s All of a sudden I was thrown back in time. With plenty of hugs, kisses...arms around each other (from the women)... guys I have not seen in years…back to a time when my only worry was getting gas money to go curze and buy beer. That night was just like back in high school that my mind slipped away from reality and back to a time when i only worried about the moment… there was no tomorrow….It was great but it was not real…. I came back home at the end of the night to my house that I am not sure how much longer I can make payments on... back to a life without a job YES I think it would be great if she would join something like we have here to help our marriage. She does belong to forums for women watching their weight...but I think she knows I am trying to keep this marriage together. I think she knows I would not cheat on her…It’s a double edge sword though... I could see how telling her could go three ways…1) she could see that I am loyal and honest so there is nothing to worry about .2) she could reverse what she has gained in her self esteem and start to think she deserves me leaving and fooling around..Or 3) it might make her think… Hey I better straighten up because other women are interested in my man…
I think Saffie is right… there will come a time but we are not there yet… Really close…..but not yet I have never lied to my wife about anything. Yes I have not told her things… but if she were to ask I have nothing to hide. As a side note…. My wife has seen the pictures that were attached to my face book page by other party goers I did ask her if she seen them and she just said “ya”…I’m thinking she is seeing a side of Doc she has not seen in a while…. ALSO she and I are going to a wedding next Saturday and no kids are invited... so son will be home by himself and W and I will be dancing the night away… Time to show her the NEW Doc…. The one she saw in the pictures having a great time..
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
