Well yesterday I changed things. I was much more demostrative publically and things are better. I think I just have this in built hyper sensitivity to anything negative meaning that I'm going to be walked out on again. I don't really mean him specifically, if things stopped with him now it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I just mean it is a general panic in me now that I'll have to work on. I guess at least I'm aware of it.
Last night I went out with the girls from work and got quite trashed. It was lots of fun. When I got back to the hostel he was waiting up to check I was ok so we snuggled on the sofa for a while and then went out for a kebab because I was starving, then we snogged in the park at 3 oçlock in the morning - classy I know lol
On other news, the postcard exh sent me was a picture of the cat and some news of her. He had made it from his iphone. It was quite sweet. It also seems that he is engaged to his girlfriend. What an idiot!
I'm going to look into the tent place, thanks Kerry! I just want this to be a bit of fun really, nothing more at the moment.
I wonder if it is possible to also just camp on the beach far away from anyone. It would suck though to wake up in the morning and walk out your tent with a big "salty" waiting outside.
Exh is a loser! I de-friended him on Facebook, I don't need to see anymore.
Things with the new man continue to go well. He is very sweet. I keep having these panics though that I'm not good enough, or he's finding me boring. Of course his words and actions don't reflect that in any way but I don't know how to stop the thoughts in my head.
The other day we were on the beach and I gave him a hug and he turned round and said 'Julia, is there anything you're not good at?!' Yesterday we spent the afternoon lying on my bed sleeping and reading and he woke up and said 'íf only I could wake up to this everyday'. Cheesy I know, but he meant it. Then all my old insecurities resurface in my head, that I think everything is ok and apparently it isn't. Has anyone else had these issues post divorce?
You are still in the process of getting your mo-jo back. Being cheated on takes a huge chunk out of our confidence. Try to remember that you are a great person with many special gifts. Your ex was/is an idiot for not seeing that. He had issues within himself that lead him away.
This guy is not him. He is lucky guy getting to see in person what we all know just from talking to you.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hi Julia, sorry to hear that your exH is engaged. I hope he had the good grace to tell you himself, or did you find out through Facebook? Thats very fast hey.
But hey, he's not necessarily a loser, just human. H and you were pretty young when you married. My BFF here got married at the same age and was divorced by 27. She then married someone else a year later.. she was worried what people would think, whether it was too soon, but she genuinely feels he is the one and her exH wasnt. It can be as simple as that. You may find looking back that H wasnt the one either, despite the fact that you married him. I've often said, I had several long term lived-with bf's in my early 20's and theres no way I'd want to be M to any of them now! Break ups are always sh*tty though, of course.
Just trying to put a different perspective. But what do I know? Only that I've been cheated on by every guy I ever dated, including my current H even once.. so, theres alot of it about, sadly. Each time, I saw it in context and decided whether to forgive or move on. And I moved on from them all..apart from H, who was the only one who deserved my forgiveness and commitment. So thats how I handled it!
..and the new bf sounds very sweet!! You deserve it all xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Things are still going well with the boy... we seem to be spending lots of time together but still doing stuff separately like going out with friends. In fact I have been out every night this week, it has been so much fun. It feels like a really nice balance with him. I'm really enjoying myself.
There's loads I could say, but he has already told me off for interpreting his every action (not here obviously but in rl!). I guess it is a habit I need to get out of left over from exh trauma. He says some very sweet things to me and tells me how beautiful I am a lot, which is lovely. He has told his mum there is a girl on the scene although people in the hostel keeps refering to me as 'his mrs'and he doesn't like that, to be fair I really don't either.
No Al, exh didn't tell me. I had to find out on FB, like everything else. Luckily I can't do that anymore. In my opinion exh has done nothing to deserve my forgiveness and commitment, he never even tried to earn it back and I tried way too hard. I'm not sure I believe in 'the one'. H was definately my number one and that was why I married him. I think if the Chron's had not come along as it did and ripped a huge chunk in our relationship things would have been very different, but you can't change the past hey, only look to the future.
