OK Rob. I needed that. I think I am actually a little scared that I am truly ok with the end of the marriage and almost apprehensive about finding too much happiness elsewhere. I hope that makes sense.
Gotta tell this part - this morning I stopped by WAW's workplace to drop off clothes for S16 who started working there today. WAW asked if my pants were new. "Yes" I said. "They make your ___ look big" was her response. We talked for a few minutes about a work issue of mine. She asked for a hug when I left and I gave her one.
By the way...she cried during our phone conversation and made a comment about being "gipped" because I am now going to meet someone, fall in love and they are going to get the better me.
I thought that was a big thing. No?
Quote:
..By the way...she cried during our phone conversation and made a comment about being "gipped" because I am now going to meet someone, fall in love and they are going to get the better me.
Don't get too impressed, this is actually very common, more WAW script. Think about it, they had access to you all this time, they could have worked on the marriage when they had a chance but chose to handle things on their own timetable. She was the one who was supposed to dump you and move on to a better life with a better man but when you move on before she does, when it appears that you find someone better than her, their value scheme gets messed up, it's not how the story was supposed to work out in their point of view, they imagined a very different story and now their reality is turned upside down.
Think about it, her response was that she was "gipped", that statement isn't flattering to you, she feels shortchanged but didn't she leave you, isn't this what she wanted? She prefers you in your sad, defeated, clingy state because it validates her ideas about you. It's not attractive to her when you are in these states but she does enjoy the fact that she holds the power in the relationship. When she loses power, when the relationship dynamic shifts in your favor, it feels uncomfortable for her because she has had the power in this relationship for such a long time. That's ok, this is a good thing.
Her comment about your .... pants, is just a way to test you, to see if she still has a way of getting her claws in you and attempting to regain control. I wouldn't be surprised if she attempted to have sex with you, to tag you and keep you in control, she knows that to you, sex would mean an emotional connection, you would believe she loves you, but in reality she would be doing that to "mark her territory" (you) to reclaim what is hers, not to work on the marriage or the relationship.
When she wants to work on the relationship, you will know it. She will make it known to you in a way that you will be able to tell that she is real and not fake or manipulative. She will work hard to regain your trust and prove her love to you.
Beware of the fake sex she will offer you, it will be good sex but it won't have anything to do with your relationship, when it happens, you know I told you it would and let us know, we will guide you to making that opportunity work in your favor.
You are doing much better and I'm happy to finally see it happen. You apparently finally hit that "threshold" I mentioned months ago, good things will be happening for you now regardless of your wife and your current relationship status with her.
