My son is 8. He only sees his dad 2x a year. A week for Christmas break and a month in summer. My XH was transferred to another state while we were going through the divorce. At the same time I moved across the country to be in a town I knew I would want to settle in (after moving around with the military) and one I could be happy staying in while my son grew up. Since my XH was moving out of the state, it didn't matter where I went, my son still wasn't going to see his dad much anymore. It was hard to believe that XH couldn't put 2 and 2 together and see that this was the impact of the divorce. But after we both moved XH wrote me a letter that seemed to show that he was just then figuring out how little he'd see his son and what a mistake he'd made. So hard to believe that a person can't look into the future far enough to predict the consequences of their actions. I mean, that's what scientists say makes us humans different than animals, right? XH's mother says men just don't think like that. Which I think is BS. Some men not in their right mind, maybe.
Anyway, I do really like my new town, but I am very, very lonely. That's why I cam back to the boards I guess. I had my brother in town here, but now he's moving. My mom has considered moving out here with me, but I struggle to get along with her. I try not to be picky, but I she doesn't respect my boundaries and pushes me around a lot. Gosh, just like my XH (shocker).
It's really, really hard being in a new town. I've moved around all over the place, but I'm getting to the age where I just want to have a home and close friends and family around me. I feel alone and abandoned and sometimes the dips into depression scare me. I've even started wondering if my son wouldn't be better off living with XH. But, I know that's not true and I've promised him that he will not be moving around anymore. I'm hoping in another year I'll feel much less like this.
I'll have to look into Divorce Care. I too HATE the "move on" phrase. I wonder if it's possible to move on before you fall in love again. Is there always someone you are attached to, and they stay there until they're displaced by someone else? Or can you really be completely over your ex before you've started a new relationship. That's the way I've always assumed you should do it. But now I'm not sure it's possible.
