It's time for you to acknowledge that this may be scary, this new experience of letting go of a cheating spouse, being strong for yourself, commanding respect from those who have never respected you. All of these things are scary and that kind of fear can be paralyzing, it usually keeps most people from doing anything, it usually keeps people in abusive and hurtful relationships because that feeling of fear is all they know, they've grown so accustomed to it, it's almost comfortable for lack of a better word and then when you're faced with a new reality, and a different kind of fear, you want to cling to your old fear because at least you know it and you're comfortable with it, this new fear is unknown to you and you don't dare attempt to push past this new fear.
Your wife hasn't respected you for a very long time, I wouldn't consider ever being with her again until she learns that respect is not optional with you. Anything less than this and you will repeat these problems in your life over and over again.
