We Fall Down, We Get Up

[ImprovedRomeo]

Some of us are talking about two different things I think.

Nobody is suggesting millions of sexual partners just to find somebody good or pass the time until you (generally speaking) do find somebody good. Well, I am sure somebody may have suggested it but I don't think it was any of us.

There is not one person here that suggested anybody have random multiple partners just to have sex.

The idea of having sex with someone who doesn't mean anything suggested that which several people said was fine.

IMO it's a really slippery slope to judge what people may have done in the past.

I don't think anyone was judging anyone, we're simply sharing our opinions. My point was things aren't as black and white as people paint them to be.

Nobody was born or put on this planet to serve one persons needs. People can change how they view sex or used to view sex or how they will view sex in the future.

Nor should anyone serve anyone, we have choices including staying single. Yes, people can change but typically people try to change other's point of views by interjecting their own on them. Sometimes even passing them on as facts. Which is frustrating.

If you didn't believe that you wouldn't be here on this site as the entire premise of DB'ing is making changes.

I believe in becoming a better person not to change myself just to say I changed.

How could anybody be waiting and anticipating somebody? How could anybody possibly know who they will meet in the future?

So what do all of you suggest we do until you find that "somebody special"? Hope they knock on our door and in the meantime explore nothing?

Unless you intend to stay single, which is fine too, you know you will meet that someone special. So you wait and anticipate till you at least meet someone that has some resemblence to this person i.e. by not jumping in bed with whomever comes along as was being suggested in the earlier posts.

Exploring a person does not have to mean sex and if it does, well, I'd imagine most of us have enough self respect not to just be screwing anything that walks for the sake of it.

Exactly- now we're on the same page.

I once read on this site that people want to date for validation. Does that make somebody less special because they are dating to fill a need? I can't even wrap my head around it but it has no bearing on a future R.

I can kinda see that but casual innocent movie and dinner with someone is way different than getting bare and doing it then not feeling it meant anything more than a 20 mins of fun.

People in their mid to late 30's and early 40's have had more than one sexual partner other than their spouse. Who is to decide which partners were meaningless and which were not? Certainly not an outsider!

Most people yes, not all. You decide who were meaningful. If you're having sex just to have sex (as was being discussed) then obviously it's meaningless but if you had sex because you enjoyed the company of the person and it wasn't a one night romp then chances are it was meaningful.



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