You are confusing "wants" with the law. We all want lots of things but it doesn't mean we are going to get them. You cannot control what your W thinks or feels. If she sees you as selfish and uncaring then she does. She wants the dime she needs to put in the time... a four year marriage is not long at all. She is crazy if she thinks she is "entitled" to anymore than 2 (or 2.5 years). She just needs somebody to be angry at and that will be you.
It's no fun when the WAS has their bubble burst and they realize being a single parent and struggling financially isn't all that. She had options but chose not to take them. Her choice. Instead of taking accountability for her choice(s) she will blame you for being uncaring because you won't pay for her to live for longer than you were married.
