Sorry. I've purposely avoided saying it in the past.
As for him being happy, well chances are he will be for a limited period of time. Ultimately though any relationship built on lies and infidelity is doomed to fail. One or the other will repeat their patterns- it's only a matter of time.
As for me, well I've been on this board since 2006 if that gives you any idea lol But for most people it's between a year to two years. In my case it wasn't the time (obviously) it was the realization of what I had become. I'd become passive, weak and not me who I truly was. I was afraid to say and act normal and even when she was reaching for the juggalar I was being nice to her because I still cared for her, I still didn't want to see her suffer, I still felt somehow I was at fault for making her feel this way. How pathetic, how unattractive. It was CTH's casual words that gave me that jolt I needed to wake up. He simply said 'Don't be a martyr'- don't know why on that day those words did it for me. I realized I didn't 'need' her. I was my whole complete person and I had everything in my life I could ask for: DD, siblings, parents, a house, clothes, food, cars...hell what the hell did I need her for? laundry? I can do that myself! sex? I could do that myself too OK seriously, I wanted her because I cared for her, I cared for her because she was special and she was special because I thought she thought I was special to her too (phew!). Of course, she has the right to not feel that way anymore and that's fine. It doesn't make me any less special or incomplete. So here we are now- I'm content in the life I have, I have everything I need. Life's full of stuff to explore and I feel I'm exploring myself a bit after a long time. I'm doing things how I want and when I want. In fact, the biggest hurdle right now is getting through the divorce...I'd be so happy and relieved when it's finally done. A few months ago I couldn't imagine saying those words but I truly mean them now.
You will get there too.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
OK seriously, I wanted her because I cared for her, I cared for her because she was special and she was special because I thought she thought I was special to her too (phew!). Of course, she has the right to not feel that way anymore and that's fine. It doesn't make me any less special or incomplete. So here we are now- I'm content in the life I have, I have everything I need. Life's full of stuff to explore and I feel I'm exploring myself a bit after a long time. I'm doing things how I want and when I want. In fact, the biggest hurdle right now is getting through the divorce...I'd be so happy and relieved when it's finally done. A few months ago I couldn't imagine saying those words but I truly mean them now.