He's happy on the 'high' but that won't last forever.
People who make choices based on their emotions and feelings never remain as happy as they claim to be.
Reality will set in one day. You might never know a thing about it but it will. No human being is immune to the grieving process and the longer your H delays his, the worse it will be.
You can't rush the process because the process is different for everybody. You have said you have been depressed for some time now. There are tools to help you 'rewire' your brain for depression but as you said, you are not keen to AD's.
I can say I have had some expectations that my H would at least be human enough to show me some measure of remorse. Remorse makes one vulnerable though and many WAS are simply not ever going to allow vulnerability towards the LBS to show.
We have all lived our own experiences and I think we have all learned some lessons along the way. I don't buy the notion that time heals all because it doesn't. Time does give you a new perspective though.
Personally (and this is certainly just my opinion) I think when you are in the middle of the legal phase LOTS is stirred up again and again. For those that can finagle a divorce by going to the courthouse and signing a document and being done, well, consider yourself beyond fortunate. The constant talks with the attnys, the court dates and the steady stream of documents to review and revise is equal to the most unpleasant full time job one can imagine. It's an incredibly stressful, frightening and emotional process.
But much of what you are feeling now are things your H will have to address one day in his own mind. As I said, he is a human being and all the "new girls" in the world won't make him immune to the process.
And you can really look at any situation where you have no emotional investment and see the parallels. My dad died four years ago. Of course I am still sad about it! Of course I was left with all kinds of questions he will never be able to answer. Of course I think about him. And yes, from time to time I do feel angry that he waited so long to get treatment and then it was too late. My sister on the other hand still feels things about my dad and his death in a much different way than I do. To her it is still very fresh. She saw a grief C for a long time after he died.
Two different people (my sister and me) who had the exact same experience are still processing and coping four years later in VERY different ways. And I think a divorce is very much like that. There is no correct speed in how you rectify a major life trauma. Make no mistake about it though... nobody is immune to eventually feeling *something* about it.
