I'm not sure why I am still cycling on this stuff, on her, on her with OM, on all of it. You would think someone who has endured her barrage of what I can often say is just evil and vindictive behavior wouldn't be cycling around in the emotions.
It must be serving you some purpose or you wouldn't be doing it. So, what could it be?
Quote:
I wanted to prove my rightness and I wanted to beat her up a little bit. I'd rather not have any of those desires. I'd rather just not care at all one way or the other.
Why? Once you are 'right' what do you do with that? Take the high road, dear friend, like you have so many other times. Would you rather be right or be happy? You want to hurt her like she's hurt you - you have allowed her to hurt you. Stop playing the game. You know what works for you, what takes you to your higher self.
Those desires don't just creep into your head and force you to react. You allow them.
It sounds like that whole conversation (email, text, whatever) was doomed from the start and you knew it. And in the end, you still ended up paying for your son's meds. You could have saved many minutes of bullchit just by going there from the start. Did you really make a point with her, did she learn anything new? No, she once again was able to be a pain in the balls until she got what she wanted anyway.
Quit beating yourself up, you're getting caught by her crap less and less. Learn and move on. But also consider giving my first comment up there a bit more thought. This whole 'dance' is serving some purpose in your life - and only you know what that is.....
