MLC=Twilight Zone/When do I wake up?

[PEI]

I am an analyzer of problems and of course I think I can fix this. Fix what? Fix myself, which is what I would have to do if this divorce goes through.

Hon, what we are trying to tell you is that you need to FIX you regardless of whether or not you divorce ... FIXing you should be your number one goal.

Some people just have excuses. Maybe poor ones. That would be me.

At least you recognize this. I didn’t for a long time. Still don’t sometimes ... but that’s why it’s so important to get it out here ... ask for help, be open to the challenges and the advice ...

I really only have good memories of my marriage and have erased the things that were not so good.

This one worries me a bit ... WS, your marriage was made up of the good and the bad, owning it in all it’s truth will give you a realistic point from which to move forward. Am I saying dwell on the bad? Not at all (that’s the MLCer’s job ), but denying the challenges and difficulties won’t serve you either. These times are where we find our lessons. Where we grow and learn.

How much is too much in giving in a marriage? That is a difficult question.

Grit is spot on with this one.

I would remind her to cut herself some slack and be a little more realistic at the goals you are setting. In addition, be proud of what you did accomplish and I complimented her on many things. That really did not fly with her and left me puzzled.

Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus stuff here ... by telling her she should cut herself some slack and be more realistic you did not VALIDATE her FEELINGS. She felt upset and you basically told her (what she heard anyway) that she shouldn’t feel that way. Men want solutions in the shortest time possible and only go outwards when seeking advice towards said solution. Women need to feel heard. Not solved. This one really hits home for me because one of H’s big things was “don’t worry about it” ... well, I wanted to worry about it, I wanted to feel however I felt, I just wanted him to listen. He couldn’t solve the problem so his attitude was different. Not wrong. Just different. Validation is tricky ... (leave it alone guys) ... and it’s a learned skill for most of us. Missher is the king by the way

I can't type as fast as PEI, but I will get this stuff on here one way or another.

Practise grasshopper ...

I think my wife wrote all the scripts for MLC. She wrote all the behavior too. We should be making millions by now. Somebody stole MLC for dummies from her. She can't function without it, please give it back.

LMAO .... it’s funny because it’s true. Unfortunately true.

I have been told from Sunday school teachers that God has a special place in heaven for couples with 3 boys.

Then I can only imagine the seat waiting for my sister and her husband ... they have 4 GIRLS ... all 7 and under ... whooo boy!

WS, keep moving my friend ... keep posting ... getting it out helps you and, as Missher pointed out, countless others. Us included.
Peace
PEI