Ominus Bonus

[ericmsant2]

Steady

I could not help but respond to this post as I have cycled as well.

I am having an influx of all kinds of feelings. Anger, regret, loss, fear.

All normal IMO. Deep down inside you still love her and hence you are going through these period where your emotions are all over the place. Ya know what it is okay to still love her. Separate the actions from the person and change how you are looking at this interaction.

I've absorbed a sizable amount of debt due to the legal costs and the D process hasn't even started yet.

Boy do I know what you are talking about. I’m down 7K and we have had ONE meeting with the attnys. IMO – you are going to have to ask yourself a very hard question….Are you fighting for what you really believe in OR is there some small part of YOU that is trying to MAKE HER realize the consequences of her choice. If it is the later, then ask yourself…is that Steady’s job? Her choices are HER’s – IMO, it is not the LBS’s role to try and HELP them realize the consequences. The consequences will happen as they are suppose to happen.

As I was typing out a response to her last email, I just suddenly realized how stupid it was to have gone where we ended up over a $27 box of pills.]/quote]
SO now you realized how stupid it was….a very simple solution – do better the next time.

[quote]I let myself get pulled in to her game and I'm disappointed in myself.

Your not super man…so ya made a mistake. I guess that makes you human. So, recognize what it is/was and do better the next time.

I wanted to prove my rightness and I wanted to beat her up a little bit. I'd rather not have any of those desires. I'd rather just not care at all one way or the other.

AH….anger….hate it don’t ya. I do too, BUT we have to feel it. Just remember, it is HOW WE deal with it that matters.

Now, pick yourself up – enough of the pity party today – get the f*ck up and keep working on being the man that Steady wants to be!

Stop fighting the love that you still have for her. Stop letting pride and anger drive your interactions. Change how you look at this. Think of it as an opportunity to learn something about yourself as oppose to a bad interaction.

Are you still fighting the natural flow of life? Are you still fighting this?

Maybe it is the NYer in us that make this so difficult – don’t know buddy either way – you can and will do better!

Chin up dude

God Bless,
Eric (a NYer as well)