Originally Posted By: pinhead

But even when I'm totally involved, she doesn't like to open up.

And that's the sh*tter of it isn't it. It's going to take time, pinhead. That's why I'm so afraid of you giving up. I remember a number of months back, I had something really crappy I had to deal with (old stuff...had to go the courthouse for something and it just made me lose it when I finally got home). So anyways, I blurted it all out to my H and bawled and bawled. This was big for me. In 18 years I'd NEVER cried like that in front of him about ANYTHING, let alone this issue. So anyways my H's reaction amazed me. He TOTALLY 'got involved' held me, talked to me dried my tears... everything.

And you know what I did? I kept trying to pull away. Probably 5 times. Opening up to him like that was so scary, so uncomfortable that I'm the one who couldn't cope.

And it wasn't uncomfortable because I wasn't getting what I needed. It was because it was SO against my pattern... And I've been the one all along complaining that HE couldn't open up to ME.

So anyways, moral of the story is DON'T minimize how SCARY it can be for someone to open up. It could take you guys a lot of time, but don't pass up the opportunity... if you do you'll never know how great it could be...


I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.