Need some encouragement

[kissak]

Last night I finally had it with my H. I didnt like his attitude at all. He had been ill with me all day and I just couldnt take it anymore. He came home after therapy...said he werent hungry, didnt want to eat. He asked if I had paid a couple of bills for him today. I said yes. I had also brought home something from work that I wanted to finish...then he asked what I had done all day...I preceeded to tell him then he cut me off half way and said "nevermind, I dont wanna hear it". I asked why not, he said it was p*ssing him off the more I talked! I told him that I didnt appreciate that. He just stood there...asked me what was wrong with ME!! I told him that I was tired of him treating me that way...WHAT WAY, he said...Just told him that everything I do seemed to p him off! He said "not everything". I told him I just didnt understand why he was so mad at me when I had done several things today, went out of my way, to help him out. WELL, he replyed "maybe you dont need to understand why it p*ssed me off...YET". OK, what does the YET mean????

He said he was going riding, either to the fire or ems building...I then said that i didnt really care where he went! I think that caught him off guard. I think all of it caught him off guard! I usually just keep my mouth shut and let him be...but Id had enough of his attitude.

He left...called me 10 minutes later....told me to have the kids call his stepmom..it was her bday. Then he wanted to know what was wrong with me. He then accused me of stayin on the computer all day at work and that I shouldnt have had to brought my work home with me! I lost it again, told him that I DO NOT stay on the computer all day at work, and anyway If I wanted to, I COULD, Im the boss!!

I was so angry at him! I was silent on the phone for a few minutes..he said that I better say something...I told him that I had nothing else to say. He told me that we would finish the conversation when he got back home.

When he did come home, I was asleep, so we didnt get to finish talking. He did text before he came home and asked if I was still mad.

You know the good thing for me?? Everytime in the past when this kind of thing would happen..I would be in the bathroom floor balling my eyes out thinking my world was ending! NOT THIS TIME~

This morning I only saw him briefly. I was polite...fixed him his lunch, and even kissed him on the cheek. Im not a cold unforgiving person. I love him. Just DO NOT like him at all.

His sister called me this morning. She asked how things were going with us. Told her same old stuff. She kindly told me that I was so much better off without him, that he was immature and would never grow up. That I deserved better. She said that I should have never let him get away with all that he has done.

Wonder what today will bring.

I wish I knew what happened to put him in this mood yesterday.

DOes he not trust me? Does he think I sit on the computer and talk to guys or something??? He does not know me at all.