Don't budge. Don't apologise. Don't rescue her. Don't make contact unless it's about the kids or household finances. Let her miss you for real. Take care of yourself and your kids. She's testing you.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
