I know a lot of people read these posts. I mostly lurked since the bomb drop in February. You get to a point eventually where you know that the MLC'r has to figure it out from within on their own. Then it is time to dig in and save yourself.
Some may MLC'rs never make it. They could stay this way until the next age transition. Coming to grips with that is pretty depressing and I have to shove it out of my head. So I get it, this takes humongous amount of patience.
My W has even said through a moment of clarity about a month in a half ago, "Maybe I am just angry at myself!" I almost fell on the floor. I was falsely lured into thinking finally she is dabbling with the "awakening". I was quietly rejoicing inside.
But the euphoria soon ended. Actions continued to show she has a long way to go. The disconnect continued from me and our boys are feeling that something is going on with mom. Why does she always get so mad at us?
Middle son now refers to her as "Nightmare Mom". Man that hurts her but it hurts me to know mom is hurting our sons.
So I try to keep tighter with my sons. I feel horrible that they must go through something like this that is beyond their control.
It makes it even more frustrating to know that somehow my W never completed her inner self through her adolescence. Now she has to revisit it to get it whole? Give me a break, this is just total crapola. Yeah, I am venting a little bit here. I know it is totally real now and know too much to take any easy way out. Plus, I really do love my wife and it does not make any sense right now for me to do it any other way.
The IC warns me to not to get my head in the path of it is hopeless because then subconsciously I will give her enough signals that I am understanding and nonjudgemental when she finally "wakes up". He confirmed that they do realize then that you were understanding throughout all of this.
He has seen many W's come through his office that are going through this. His own wife had a horrible MLC. Then he said his W's menopause took 10 years. You mean there is more fun after this is over? No wonder men live lives of quiet desperation. Looks like women who have husbands in MLC, get a longer time suffering their H's MLC but we get the bonus round of menopause.
