I think we actually talked about it some over dinner on our second date. Let's get right out front that she was really easy to talk to! One of the things I like about her. Anyway, she said something about not wanting to rush into having sex, because once you did it was so much fun, we'd stop talking, and we should get to know each other first. Of course the kiss in the parking lot after dinner made me wonder if we were even going to make it through the evening!
I think it did make sense to bring it up early. Being older, and attracted, it made more sense to get it out in the open, rather than to try to guess what the other person's intentions and expectations were.
I don't think it would be bad to just say that you were just wanted to see how you guys got along without all the friends in tow and that of course you are not wanting to rush into anything. Honest but not spelling it out.
Good job with the boxes of cr@p!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Anyway, in one box I found the phone packaging for his 'secret phone'. With the date on it, May 7, 2007. He told me back at the time that they had first slept together May 3-4, sometime in there. That's when it switched from an EA to a PA. Sadly, we had our daughter's first birthday party on May 5. Being cinco de Mayo, we had a group of friends/family over (Thankfully NOT ow) for grilled fajitas and margaritas. Now when I look at pics of Dan and I with Sydney and her cake, I know that he had just slept with someone else in the prior 48 hours. It was already over and I didn't know it yet...
The evening of my son's 7th birtday party is when I discovered that my wife was seeing other men and I got the bomb from a very drunk wife.
She has asked me to be at our son's 10th birthday party this coming Saturday. It will be at her and Ed's place in their barn (some sort of maze party). I am thinking of going. I could not do it the last 2 years, but it does not seem like a big deal now. It would be funny if I hired a hot 19 year old escort to go with me
"Would it be the end of the world, if after a few drinks and making out, that you did end up in bed together for some innocent adult fun? It may be just what the doctor prescribes for you to move on more post D."
This kind of casual "adult fun" was not too long ago considered "adultery" or otherwise improper. I guess values have eroded so much. I'd say be true to your good values because that will maintain your self esteem and also be a role model for the kids for whatever it turns out to be worth.
"Would it be the end of the world, if after a few drinks and making out, that you did end up in bed together for some innocent adult fun? It may be just what the doctor prescribes for you to move on more post D."
This kind of casual "adult fun" was not too long ago considered "adultery" or otherwise improper. I guess values have eroded so much. I'd say be true to your good values because that will maintain your self esteem and also be a role model for the kids for whatever it turns out to be worth.
Hmmm, I guess I am very different. Granted this IS a very personal issue and there is no wrong and right, I dont see how having sex with a person you like, is adultery and I certainly do not consider that having sex equals a marriage proposal and a life commitement. These beliefs did not hinder me from valueing and respecting my husband and M. And no matter how much I liked him, if sex wasnt good between us, I wouldnt have married him. Especially between adults, that know what they are doing and why, I think sex is a wonderful..."activity". It can have several meanings, wonderful ones between life partners, but it can also be wonderful sex with no "heavy" meanings.
My rule is, was and hopefully my kids will follow, always respect yourself, respect your body, never do something you would feel bad about later, in marriage or not.
fb2, I have heard of women saving "it" for their future H but in the meantime doing everything except the act, all alternatives ..., I find that hypocritic and worthless.
I also know that a simple kiss can be much more giving, meaningful or even sick and disgusting than what we think of sex. But that is just me.
BBJ, you are a single, lovely, young, smart adult woman. You know best what is best for you. K
I think there are still big differences between Europe and the US. Europe is much more open in regards to sex where, for the most part, the US is still pretty prim and proper. There is nothing wrong with you K. Just cultural differences.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
