How should I proceed now? Is there hope?

[NotCrackingUp]

Thanks Pinhead.
That's the way I feel, myself. I've never been very confident, his love was the basis of my confidence as a woman. So for a while, I was willing to take anything, just to have him around. He lived here for the best pârt of 3 months in another room, coming and going as he pleased, hardly speaking to me, going out inthe evenings and returning late... At that time, we ML once, and as soon as it was over he said it was a "mistake", to read nothing into it, it was merely a "mechanical" reaction that any man would have. This from my H of 14 years. I took that rum behaviour lying down because I was needy and felt it was all I deserved. Although I feel loneliness now, I wouldn't accept that any more. I've begun to see that not every man sees me as my H came to see me. that I deserve happiness and dignity in a relationship. I was taught to forgive, to turn the other cheek, see Christ in everyone, but I suppose also that if our bodies and persons are preciousto God, we must respect ourselves and not let others walk all over us. And I wouldn't want my children to see me accept shoddy behaviour in the name of "love". That'd do them more damage than all of this has up to now. The question is, how to make those limits clear to my H without wrecking any chance of reconciliation. He used to be a good man and loving husband, some kind of personal crisis, outside influences and an OW very different (demanding, ultra -sexy, at home with her body, very into surface appearance) to me have made him show another side to me. I'll have to play it by ear, but retain respect for myself even if it's tough.
NCU