Things you will never read as happening here

[TimeHeals]

Entry #5.

My wife began acting very distant and sometimes hostile, and she asked me for a divorce. One day she left her web browser logged into her facebook account, and I discovered she was having an online affair with a man 1200 miles away.

I deftly applied my google skills, and within a week of reading various online sites and the DSM-IV, I diagnosed her as having a mid life crisis, bi-polar disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

I confronted her with my newfound pschology knowledge, and she agreed to enter a mental health program and intensive marriage counseling because she suddenly realized I am the only man she could ever love.

[pookie69]

If you started another thread "Things you will never BELIEVE would be happening here" you can cut and paste right out of John's.

[pinhead]

Here goes:

I asked my wife if she was cheating, and she said "Why yes! I'm so glad you asked me, the guilt was unbearable."

And then she invited me to go to Retrovaille, and we lived happily ever after.

p.s. is there an abbreviation for "happily ever after? If not, I hereby pronounce HEA the official DB abbreviation.

[soleil]

Here goes:

I asked my wife if she was cheating, and she said "Why yes! I'm so glad you asked me, the guilt was unbearable."

And then she invited me to go to Retrovaille, and we lived happily ever after.

p.s. is there an abbreviation for "happily ever after? If not, I hereby pronounce HEA the official DB abbreviation.

I love it!

HEA it is!

[TimeHeals]

We could do John's wife here:

My wife said she could never love a man who didn't agree to support her indefinetly after divorce, so I agreed to her divorce terms including 8 years spousal support (we were married 4 years), and now we have the best marriage ever!

[bklynt]

Too much! LOL! (and feeling the sting of remembering when I hoped some of the same things!)

[Vulcanized]

I asked H if he was having A. He said yes, we need to D.

But I should wait for him while he was having A; after our D & A fizzles out, we can get re-m'd.

[Ready2Change]

My wife told me she was no longer in love with me, she wasn't attracted to me, that she was attracted to another man, and she wanted a divorce.

I replied "You know what...you are absolutely right. This marriage is not working for me either. If you need help packing your things, let me know, I will be glad to help"

A week later she came begging me to take her back because the OM was using her just for sex and has no intention on leaving his family....I told her "With all that has happened, I need time to think about this"

[bklynt]

Wow. Does this stuff ever work?

[dday101798]

I asked H if he was having A. He said yes, we need to D.

But I should wait for him while he was having A; after our D & A fizzles out, we can get re-m'd.

mmmm, sorry, this one actually DID happen.