. Anyway, now I wonder, if he decides to "come back for the children", how to take it? Part of me just wants him back, but most of me now says "not under just any conditions". He's either willing to work on the marriage or he's out for good. I couldn't face walking on eggshells in my own house, feeling him "suffering" my presence for the sake of the kids, never being quite able to measure up. Is that too hard a line to take? Should I be prepared to take him back under that kind of condition,then divorce-bust like crazy? I ask because I have a feeling that's the way it will be, if only because of his own pride. I can't see him saying he's sorry for the hurt and being willing to come back as a loving and contrite spouse.
I've always prayed, but have never gone as deeply into it as during the last 5 months, and my prayers are answered with strength I thought I didn't possess. I can remain outwardly calm although I'm a wreck inside, thanks to prayer.Sometimes I wonder if God wants us to get back together at all, but I leave it in His hands.
NCU
God hates divorce; make no mistake about it.
I would be careful about "settling," just to have him back. There's something to be said about having him around to see your efforts at DBing, but I think that unless you're both willing to work to improve your relationship, it'll just end up too painful for you. You'll always question everything he does, his motives etc. Not a healthy environment IMHO.
At one point, I was willing to settle; having my wife's company as well as her help in raising our daughters seemed the lesser of two evils. Then I realized how degrading that would be, that I was thinking I couldn't find anyone else, that I would take less than a soulmate. I couldn't live with myself after that; especially after getting the Bomb. I realized how much I had to live for, how good life could be, and that to deny myself real happiness would be the biggest mistake in my entire life.
I can't tell you what you should do. I just know that I couldn't live with myself (or my wife) knowing that she didn't really want to be there, or that I was her second choice.
