Things you will never read as happening here

[dday101798]

My wife told me she was no longer in love with me, she wasn't attracted to me, that she was attracted to another man, and she wanted a divorce.

And I chuckled and looked at her with the warmest smile I think I ever laid on her in our entire marriage and said "funny you bring a conversation like this up today, I just bought that new gun I'd been saving up for and upped your life insurance this afternoon".

Now if you'll excuse me, I have A LOT of cleaning to do..........