Wife states she is not in love with me anymore!

[pookie69]

How long would a W hold on if her feelings have not changed in several months?

How long have you been doing that works without setting yourself back? Give her what she wants.

I am feeling better when I am in control, but I do not want to come across as controlling.

Being in control of yourself is not controlling her.

In our conversation she did say that when she has backed off a little I assume that thing become much better and I jump over the line.

What is she telling you? Don't jump the line. Give her the space she wants.

Do I take her stalling as she is she waiting for me to lead her feelings back to loving me?

Yes.

If I am leading what am I doing to get her to follow?

Become attractive again. She married you once before. She was attracted to you. Right now she is not. What did she like about you?

Drop that rope that keeps pulling you over the line.

Remember, she is watching your every move. If she does not believe that your changes are sticking, they probably have not yet.

[pookie69]

No feelings for you is often because there are feelings for someone else. Robx told you that an EA had formed and you seemed to agree with that...so what have you done about that? Feelings for you won't return if there are feelings for someone else.

How can you become the better choice?

[HopelessInLove]

I have asked her to stop with the OM. She said she has stopped. I did not see any phone calls, or emails to or from OM. What more can I do? I want to trust, but she states she cannot trust me.

[Coach]

No feelings for you is often because there are feelings for someone else. Robx told you that an EA had formed and you seemed to agree with that...so what have you done about that? Feelings for you won't return if there are feelings for someone else.

How can you become the better choice?

By not being a choice.

[pookie69]

No feelings for you is often because there are feelings for someone else. Robx told you that an EA had formed and you seemed to agree with that...so what have you done about that? Feelings for you won't return if there are feelings for someone else.

How can you become the better choice?

By not being a choice.

I wanted HIM to say that!

[TimeHeals]

I want to trust, but she states she cannot trust me.

Trust you to do what?

Did you have an affair too?

[HopelessInLove]

No, I did not have an A.

I threatened her a S and D because we were in this endless cycle.
She would nag, I would get further away. Even though she nagged to be closer to me, dates, time together, or alone time.
I would want affection and not recieve it. She also feels like any time she shares some information I have used it against her. She has been speaking in absolutes and has not backed away from that line.

"By not being a choice."

This is confusing. What do you mean? Go dark? I don't know how productive that would be. She has wanted me to change, and I want to change, I have been feeling better of myself, and now I am hearing her bring up the R more frequently.

[HopelessInLove]

Reading this I see if I could have just spent time together and lead going to her I would not have had to type it to realize that failure.

[pinhead]

The idea is to let her go. Completely.

Let her swim or sink on her own. Give her what she's asking for. Then she might realize what she's lost.

[HopelessInLove]

Any input on EA? How to make sure things are just business?