My wife worries that my side of the family will always "hate her." I know that's not true, but she needs to deal with it. All I can do is show her that I love her, and that while I appreciate my family caring about me, she married me, not them.
Damn I thought I posted that, but then realized it wasn't my screen name! :lol:
It is soooooooooo true.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
My wife worries that my side of the family will always "hate her." I know that's not true, but she needs to deal with it. All I can do is show her that I love her, and that while I appreciate my family caring about me, she married me, not them.
This is a huge opportunity. A leader would deal with it and not let her feelings lead on this. Do you guys see it?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
All I did when it came up was listen and validate. How can I convince her otherwise? My parents live on the West Coast, and other than an email every now and then, and a weekly phone call, they're not involved in our lives on a daily basis.
Should I talk to my mother about it and have her contact my W? To be totally honest, my parents think my W is acting like a spoiled child.
I posted this in the new comers sections but maybe I will receive more insight here.
Took a break for awhile to let the last communication from W sink in. I did reply to her email. In it I validated her feelings to start. I then proceeded to express my feelings and take on the whole situation. I ended with me stating I invisioned a great R between us in the future and that it will take hard work to accomplish it. I also said I know the direction we need to take if WE decide to work on M. I express what I wanted in a R and ended it by asking her "What do you want'?
I dropped the kids off this morning and after they went in I asked my W if she was ready to talk. She responded "I guess so". I replied back 'Is that a yes or a no'? She said "yes, call me to set up a time to meet."
So this I plan to meet this weekend to discuss many issues with her. I know I need to listen first. I do have much to tell her too.
Ironicly today is our anniversary.
Should boundaries be set at the meeting?
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
That depends....depends on what she says, and how strongly she says it. You've read it before, you WILL KNOW if your W is serious about reconcilling. If she isn't, what good are boundaries?
If you get wishy-washy from her, maybe you let her know what the boundaries would be if you were to move forward. And the first boundary would then be a committment from her to work on things... Something along the lines, if WE decide to head down the path to reconcilliation, at a minimum, here are a few things I expect from this:
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
